Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Confessions of a Pastor's Wife: Confession #12 My kids go to public school—and I'm OK with that.

Confession #12: My kids go to public school—and I'm OK with that.

I do admit that when it was time for my first-born to go to school, I really wanted her to attend a private Christian school so she would be “safe.” I spent a lot of time praying for a miracle—that God would provide the funds and open the doors so that she could put on a uniform and get a good Christian education. But the doors never opened and the funds never arrived because God had better miracles in store. Miracles. Plural.

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Monday, 27 July 2015

Poem: Sin

Sin stalks in stealth
Snapping twigs under hedges
That line the narrow path
In hopes to break
A gaze fixed forward

Eyes wander left to see
A bloody carcass strewn
In full display to pierce
A heart overwhelmed
With fear and dismay

Eyes jerk to the right
An inviting oasis looms
Tantalizing with rest and pleasure
While skeletons lay buried
Under fallen fronds

The goal is in sight
Run, weary traveller, run
Run straight, run true
Turn not your head
No matter what you hear

Saturday, 25 July 2015

Poem: Daniel 4

Lips proclaim His might
The heart bows down to others

He sends dreams to warn
Wise council to guide

A strong and great tree
Can be brought down in one blow

What the lips proclaim
Be sovereign in the heart

Do what is right
Ease the suffering of others

But eyes see power and glory
The heart says, All Mine

Seven years is a long time

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

A modern psalm

I am so angry
What good is a trust in the Lord when all you receive is silence?
What good is following His call when the way is so bloody hard?
WHY aren't you keeping your promises?
Test me, you say
Ask, you say
I don't even get peace—my hope leaves me, my strength fades, my heart doubts
Putting my hope and trust in you turns me into a raging machine
Asking for patience and strength leaves me spent on the ground
I can't sleep—my mind fills with thoughts of your silence

And still...

What other hope could there be but only in you?
What other life is worth living but one for you?
Where you go, I go
Your people, my people
Your Son, my Saviour
You have a choice to bring me out of darkness
I have no choice but to wait for you to come and get me
How long, O Lord, until you come and get me?

My flesh longs to curse you but still
My soul rises in praise
For you are worthy regardless of my circumstance
You owe me nothing
I owe you my all

Save me from myself

Monday, 20 April 2015

Poem: The Proud (Ezekiel 31-33)

Our heads are above the trees
The view robs our breath
Our eyes devour the wonders
Of an earth we think we own
The lowly look small and we forget
His eyes search for those alone
In this moment
We are brought low

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Confessions of a Pastor's Wife: Confession #11

Confession #11: It's hard. And I'm thankful.

It's hard when my husband comes home with his face drawn and his heart heavy. His heavy heart bleeds for a generation that is falling away from God in droves while he faithfully speaks the Word and wonders if anyone listens anymore. And I'm thankful when God moves in the most incredible way and a generation turns their hearts towards Him and amazing stuff starts to happen.

It's hard when schedules and life hit fast forward and my husband and I speak with a kiss, then a hug, then a brush of the fingers, then just the words and not the actions. And I'm thankful when we look into each others eyes, confess to each other and start again.

It's hard when I feel like I haven't had the time or energy to do what "I" want to do because the kids need something that only I can give them. And I'm thankful when God reminds me that it's not about me at all and I have beautiful, amazing children who need what only I can give them.

It's hard when I look at the world and see all the evil and the sin. And I'm thankful that God not only stirs hearts, guides hands and moves feet to bring His love to the innocent caught in the mire but He also seeks for the hearts of the ones doing the evil.

Life is hard. It's meant to be. Otherwise God couldn't teach us how to look at it with thankful eyes.

Monday, 16 September 2013

Just Finished: Warm Bodies

This book intrigued and pissed me off all at the same time. I had heard about this book and the movie for quite some time but never had any interest but it was the pick of my book club so I waited to the last possible second to read it. I'm glad I did, although I am SO frustrated. This book is so close to the truth yet so far away all at the same time. It does its best to warm and fuzzy this aching, calling part in the depths of people but then leaves the reader with the only answer this world seems to care about: hormonal, teenage "love" saves the world. 


Anyone who is on the other side of teenage love knows that it is intense feeling, to be sure, but lasting? Hardly. 

Here's what intrigued me about the book—one little part right towards the end:

"This plague...," Julie says in a very soft voice. "This curse...I have an idea where it came from..."
The clouds are thin and pink overhead, stretched out into delicately textured swirls. A bracing cold wind whips across the roof and makes us squint.
"I don't think it's from any spell or virus or nuclear rays. I think it's from a deeper place. I think we brought it here."
Our shoulders are pressed together. She is cool to the touch. As if her warmth is retreating, curling deep inside her to escape the extinguishing wind.
"I think we crushed ourselves down over the centuries. Buried ourselves under greed and hate and whatever other sins we could find until our souls finally hit the rock bottom of the universe. And then they scraped a hole through it, into some...dark place."
I hear pigeons cooing somewhere in the eaves. Starlings zip and dive against the sky, pretty much unaffected by the end of our silly civilization.
"We released it. We poked through the seabed and the oil erupted, painted us black, pulled our inner sickness out for everyone to see. Now here we are in the dry corpse of a world, rotting on our feet till there's nothing left but bones and the buzz of flies."
So. much. truth. right. there.

But then it all gets solved when the zombie and the girl kiss, because they love each other, and something magic happens—he comes back to life. Let's just mention on the side that the only reason he loves her is because he has memories of her by eating her boyfriend's brain. What? I can't even go into how that is all sorts of wrong or how messed up this world is that this book is so popular with the teenage girls that there is a movie. AHHHH. It's Twilight all over again but with zombies instead of vampires. 

And to make it even more maddening is that it hits on truth: the answer to saving the world from such a horrible state IS love. But how can a week-old fleeting, teenage love (that hasn't even stood the test of a seasoned 60-year old marriage) be the answer to a world full of zombies created through centuries of our greed and hate and other SINS? (Let's just make a note that the word "sin" is actually used.) That's like putting a band-aid over an oil spill and calling the problem solved. Will NEVER work. 

Only a powerful, incredible, never failing love could possibly come close to fixing the problem. Only a mind-boggling love could bring the dead to life.

I know of a book who has an answer. It's called the Bible. It's been around for a very long time. Long enough for people to take the truth of it and water it down into a teenage hormonal version and call it an answer. 

For God so LOVED the world that He gave his only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him should NOT PERISH but have eternal life. John 3:16
I've "just found" the answer for the zombie apocalypse. You're welcome.